Healing for Animal Bereavement

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened... "

Anatole France

"...not a single sparrow falls to the earth without God knowing..." Matthew

The death of a beloved horse or animal companion can be one of the most painful experiences we face in our lives. One of the reasons that it can be so painful is that sometimes we are asked to consider and take responsibility for the euthanasia choice for our animal friend. The emotional challenge of this can be very tough and having to make that choice for a dearly loved horse of mine named Sky was probably the biggest, hardest and most important decision I have made in my life. Looking back I now know that it was the right decision to make on behalf of my beautiful horse whom I loved and will always love dearly. Read more about Sky here It is such a very huge responsibility to make the 'merciful choice' for another being and not one to be taken lightly or without due consideration. Others may judge us if we do and they may judge us if we do not- however at the end of the day, it is a sacred and private matter between you and your animal friend.

Unfortunately, animal death is trivialised by many. The society in which we live finds it so hard to say the 'right' thing when a human dies, so when an animal dies who has been dear to someone, more often than not people make things so much worse- usually without meaning to at all. Of course, there are some people who are careless and even cruel; some just don't know what to say- often because they have not experienced a close bond with an animal. Comments like, "they had a good innings" or " you can get another cat/dog/horse/budgie" or "it was only a cat/dog/horse/budgie" or even "it was just an animal- not a human- get over it!" These people have never loved an animal- they have no idea of what you are going through ; they have no idea of the great love you felt and still feel for that animal and are all the poorer for it. As Anatole France quoted 'Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.' Rejoice in the fact that you're soul has been awakened by the animal/s you dearly love.

People often become intimidated and embarrassed in the presence of another's pain, grief and emotion, especially if they are emotionally blocked themselves...so their insensitivity is sadly an expression of their own emotional state and not by any means something you should measure your level of grief and depth of love for your animal against.

Also, there is strong prejudice and judgement that we are not supposed to love animals as much or more than we love humans. Phrases like "It's me or the dog" and "horses cause divorces" exist for a reason...many people do love the animals in their life as much as or more than the humans. This is not right or wrong- it just is.

One of the reasons that many of us love our animals so much is because animals love us unconditionally. No matter how we look or how grumpy we are if we've had a really bad day or an argument, our animal friends greet us with boundless love and enthusiasm and show us that we are loved and special even when we are feeling like something on the bottom of someone's shoe. It's the animals that remind us who we really are- they remind us that we're not what we do for a job, we're certainly not what others project out onto us and we're not a failure because we don't look like the latest pop star or celebrity. They just see the true essence of who we are- and that essence is truly wonderful. They want us to know how wonderful we are and do all they can to help us to see it.

So when that animal that has made us laugh and play and feel so wonderful and so loved is no longer physically with us, the grief can be excrutiating as not only have we lost our dear friend, we've also lost the source of unconditional love in our life that we have grown so used to...and we're supposed to just "get over it and get a new one.."? This would hopefully never be said to someone who had lost a human loved one.... so why should we act with any less respect and sensitivity at the death of an animal and at the deep grief of those who mourn them...?

How I can help - Animal Soul Midwifery and Healing

As well as a healer, I work as a "soul midwife" for animals. I have helped to make the passing of many animals as peaceful and dignified as possible. Acting as their companion as well as their healer, creating a safe and sacred space for them and giving healing throughout the euthanasia procedure alongside the vet or in some cases at the end of their natural life. As a midwife helps a baby into this world, so a soul midwife helps a soul to leave it. Please contact me for more details.

As a healer and life-long animal lover I am guided to help others in their grief for their animal friend. The main thing I do is to create a safe space for you where you are able to talk without fear of judgement or being told not to cry. I listen with an open heart and offer you support and ideas for you to help yourself in your grieving process and work towards moving forwards in your own time. I am also happy to help you to create a beautiful ceremony to mark the passing of your animal and to honour their memory.

I combine Spiritual Healing and flower essences both of which work to bring a deeper sense of peace and comfort. Grieving is a very personal thing in that there is no 'set' or 'correct' length of time a person should grieve for. We work at your pace and in a way that is right for you. Your animal wants the best for you and that includes having the opportunity to grieve for them in a supportive environment so that you are able to move forward in your life with a happy heart- always remembering the one you love but letting go of the pain- having allowed it to surface and work its way out. It may be the right thing for you to give a loving home to another animal in need when you feel at peace- or it may not - and that is something that only you will know..

Lastly, I feel urged to share with you the thought that grief is not something to be 'cured' of, it is not something to run from or push away. It is something very beautiful, something to be honoured, understood and experienced. Unexpressed or supressed grief can lead to severe depression and illness if it is not acknowledged and embraced. We must allow ourselves and others to feel it and work through it. Grief is testament to our love for another being, it is not weakness- it is incredibly powerful and if approached with an open heart and mind, it can be profoundly healing on many levels.

 ...and God took a handful of southernly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse....
Arabian Proverb